Back from Hiatus

I know it has been awhile since my last post but I have just been busy with work and getting my life back on track after the holidays. I didn't have much to report but my dad told me that folks keep checking and have been asking how I've been. He said it's like a television show and people are tuning in to see the next episode. Pretty cool to know people are still interested.

All is good and my hair is finally starting to grow. It is still too short to look like much but it's coming along. I've got my curly hair back which will be super cute once I have more to actually work with. I still cover it a lot with baseball caps but every now and than I get bold and go topless. I do have the audacity to put gel in it every morning LOL! I may actually dig having a short pixie hair style. This coming from someone whose comfort zone was a ponytail.

It has been 6 months since my last chemotherapy and the only complaint is HOT FLASHES. I get them bad which creeped up as a result of chemotherapy. I think they've even gotten worse since I've been on tamoxifen. I was told they could prescribe something for me to decrease the frequency (I probably break out in a sweat about 10 or more times daily). I drive all day with the AC on most of the time and sleep with the fan on high as close as I can get it. I decided to just roll with it since I didn't want to have to take more medication. I can barely remember to take my tamoxifen which is mandatory daily for the next five years.

I am back to my workout schedule and losing a lot of the weight that I gained during chemotherapy.

Thank You to Netherfieldmom who suggested I read Anti-Cancer by Dr Servan Schreiber and for sharing your experiences.

LIFE IS GOOD

Tamoxifen

I had my first follow up with my Hemotology Oncologist and I dropped almost 10 lbs as a result of some of the poison that has slowly left my system. I still have to lose another 8-10lbs to get into my favorite jeans but with a little more work I'm gonna "make it happen."

I started my appointment with a blood draw that was difficult since they can no longer use my left arm (this of course, was the best arm). The tech had trouble so I told her no worries and made the executive decision that she didn't have to do it. Poor thing couldn't find a vein in my right arm and I was getting irritated after several pokes that turned fruitless....where's that PORT when you need it. Well, I went back to the lobby and told them they couldn't do the blood draw and the lady at the front desk looked at me like I was crazy and said, "what do you mean they couldn't do it?" She told me I didn't have a choice and told me to go back to the lab for the "big guns" who can draw blood from a turnip. Well, mission accomplished!

I met with my Hemotology Oncologist who I just adore....he's a total cutie patooti! We went over my side effects which I am still having - hot flashes like a mad dog due to the chemo (they are the worst), my fingernails are still falling off one by one. Basically, the new nail pushes up the old nail and I just pull it off when it's hanging by a thread (don't worry, it doesn't hurt at all). The old and the new nail are still discolored a dark brown with ridge lines so it's obvious I still have some of the drugs from chemo in my system. At least I get new nails out of the deal!

I was prescribed Tamoxifen which I will take daily for the next 5 years. This medication is supposed to slow the growth of cancer cells. During the first couple of weeks, Tamoxifen can increase symptoms of cancer, including bone or tumor pain. Some of the side effects include blood clots, hot flashes, fluid retention/bloating, tiredness or fatigue. Long Term therapy may increase risk of getting endometrial cancer which would be a major bummer ; Isn't that double jeopardy? I like to believe they wouldn't have me take this medication if the benefits didn't outway the downfalls.

I will still go to the hospital for follow up/tests (whatever necessary) every 3 months instead of 6 months for the time being. These follow ups will continue for the next 5 years.

My relationship with treatment is OVER! We have officially broken up

I completed my Radiation Therapy on 10/28/2009; less treatments then initially expected...I had a total of 28. This by far was the worse for me! They baked me like a chicken. I was placed on Vicodin (Hydrocodone) during part of it due to the excruciating pain of my burns. My skin took a beating and now I think I can relate a bit with burn victims on a smaller scale of course.

I could not even get into position on some of my treatments which they subsequently ended up decreasing the dosage with permission from my Radiation Oncologist Doc because it was pretty extreme. It hurt to wear clothing and I couldn't lift my left arm for quite some time and had to stop physical therapy for the duration. I would jump if they even thought about touching me. I believe I missed a full week of work after my Sergeant firmly advised.

It was pretty gross when it began to peel because it was my left side of my chest, neck, back and armpit which was the worse. It is 10 times + worse than a sun burn and due to the pigment of my skin it was a surprise to everyone on how bad it was for me.

Well, that is all behind me and now I'm a nice shade of maroon in the radiated areas and the skin is extremely tight which I need to try to soften up with exercise and physical therapy.

I'm not sure if I'm out of the woods but it is a good feeling not having to go to the hospital every single day.

My hair is beginning to slowly grow back but not enough for me to feel comfortable without a baseball cap. It is growing in completely straight; I don't have my wavy, curly hair but it's cool to have something different. It is soft as baby hair and feels pretty cool. I took a photo with my dogs Hunter and my new addition Pogo the Maltese; My sister and I share Pogo since the original owner had to give him up. I know, I know, I look a bit G.I. Jane-ish.

Next on the agenda....follow ups, bloodwork and daily medication for the next 5 years.

Chemo Nails

I am still exhibiting effects from the chemo...kinda crazy this stuff is still in my system. I expected after August 14 (last chemo) that things would start to be normal. I found a photo of chemo nails just to show how gross it looks (my nails were too yucky to show). My fingernails and toenails turned VERY dark, have ridges and lines but my nails did not become brittle. I mask them with nail polish but the color still bleeds through...I noticed a few weeks ago that I started to lose the portion of skin that keeps your nails attached to the nail bed. My right thumb nail fell off a couple days ago with I'm sure more to come. It didn't hurt but it looks pretty weird. Maybe my nails will grow back prettier!

I also have started to lose more of my eyebrows as days progress. I may have to get some tattooed because it gets old trying to draw them in....I don't want to make the mistake of drawing on the surprise look so it's best if a professional does it. I hear it takes a while for them to grow back.

The good news is the port removal pain has decreased immensely and I can tolerate some of the discomfort for the most part.

Bye Bye Power Port (PORT A CATH)

I had my Power Port taken out today after work by my surgeon. The procedure took longer than I expected since my Power Port (Port a Cath) loved me so much it didn't want to let go (they are installed beneath the skin and the catheter connects the port to the vein). I made sure my doctor numbed me with as much lidocaine as possible. This of course, was not as easy as I thought... OMG! I was so nervous that I was shaking. I despise needles. After they reopened the area in my chest (near my collar bone), I felt SERIOUS pain and they had to stop to make sure more lidocaine was injected. It was probably the worse experience I've had so far in relationship to PAIN. Did I say painful...I mean I would have rather had my double mastectomy three times over, my bottom lip pulled over my head and my jaw broken. My mom is a tough cookie but it was hard for her to witness this after hearing me behave like a big baby. I'm awake during this which was unsettling to me; I wanted to zone out with my IPOD but the area had to be sterile so I was told it was best if I didn't. No heavy lifting amongst other things for two days per doctors orders. Well, this won't be a problem since I can barely pull a shirt over my head.

After they stitched me up and placed steri stripes, I went to my radiation appointment which was followed up by my weekly Doctor review. As I drove home, the numbness from the lidocaine began to dissipate and I felt queasy.

I was relieved to finally get home to take Tylenol or my other prescribed medication but this did absolutely nothing to subside the pain. I couldn't move my right side and I couldn't sleep at all due to the excruciating pain. There is NO WAY I will be able to wear a uniform to work tomorrow so this will be interesting.

The photo gives an idea of the Port a cath but I had a Power Port which is purple and triangle shape.

The good thing is this chapter is over and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The pain will eventually go away and one day it will be a distant memory.

Beam Me Up Scottie!

I have just completed my second day of external radiation. It's rather crazy going every single day to get this treatment downtown Seattle but I know it's necessary and I guess getting my LIFE/HEALTH straight trumps all of that.

To kick off this process, I had to start with treatment planning and simulation. The simulation (target areas marked with precision) makes it so that the therapy is more precise, effective and causes less damage to my healthy tissues. The goal is to destroy and/or injure my cancer cells that may remain after chemotherapy. The radiations job is to focus on the cancer cells, damaging there genetic material so that it's impossible for them to continue to grow, conquer and divide. This therapy also damages healthy cells in addition to destroying as many cancer cells as possible; most normal cells will be able to bounce back/recover and function properly.

I took a picture of the radiation room...I lay on the table with my arms nested in a cradle and my hands are clasped above my head. My legs are tied together and cannot be crossed or it "jacks" the machine or something. I cannot move at all during this procedure but thank goodness they allow me to breath. The technicians do precise measurements and drawings on my cancer stricken areas in order to pinpoint where the beam will focus; this is done daily and tailored to each patients individual needs. I do get to listen to music which is always bonus to me.

The whole thing takes less than 30 minutes and it doesn't hurt; I do keep my eyes closed so I can get into my zone. All I hear are the beeps that signal when I'm being radiated.

I'm the only person in the room and the technicians are in a separate area watching me on a monitor and can interact with me by voice in case I need anything. I try not to talk because I stress that I'll move and the beam will jack me in my heart. I know, I'm all about DRAMA!

My skin is very tight after the procedure and the skin is tender. It darkens the skin and feels like a sunburn. I apply a special lotion to the areas affected several times a day but I cannot have any perfume, deodorant (I now only wear those without aluminum like Toms but it doesn't work like Mitchum that's for sure), lotions, etc on prior to radiation. I always apologize to the crew working on me in case I'm "Stinky" because they are all up in my arm pits and moving my body around like I'm a contortionist. They are an awesome crew and take really good care of me.

I'm Back....Did you miss me?

I haven't been posting much these days due to long work weeks; by the time I get home, I'm spent and the last thing on my mind is the computer :)

I'm still trying to kick "Chemo Brain"...I could probably write a short book on my short term memory lapses. My doc will do a scan if this persists but it is a common side effect which improves over time after therapy. My mom loves telling folks my crazy stories, like when I came home and put on the water hose and forgot it on all night; lost my car keys in the refrigerator which was inside my lunchbox; leaving my housekeys in my door with the door open (didn't know until I returned home). I have enough memory problems with aging!

As you all know, Chemotherapy is complete and I have had a 4 week hiatus which has been great. I'm still bald-o-licious and the scarfs are getting a bit old and tired but I'm patiently waiting for new hair growth. My Aunt Lora reminded me that I didn't have hair from the time I was a baby until I was probably 5YOA. I looked like a boy...Well, a cute boy with earrings is how I recall.

My left arm is slowly improving through physical therapy but is not yet 100%. I have received the OK to return back to full duty per my Oncologist and I couldn't be happier. I again cannot express how lucky I am to have such a great employer that has allowed me the opportunity to still work....I'm indeed blessed and impressed.

I get my power port taken out on Friday the 18th which is just prior to starting Radiation Therapy. I have had my planning sesssion for the therapy which consisted of getting permanent tattoos on the areas that will be concentrated on during therapy (I would have rather had blood drawn) and CT scan. My Radiation starts September 21 and has been extended to just short of 7 weeks which will be everyday for approximately 20 minutes, 5 days a week.

I'm on the downhill slope of therapy...I can't believe it's been 8 months since my diagnosis. It has actually gone by fast and I am ready to start a new beginning in my life.

Storms not over Yet

I had my first bought of nausea/vomiting on Saturday night after Chemo with minor shortness of breath. I became a bit dizzy while vacuuming and I was in the dumps all Sunday sleeping and taking anti-nausea medication. I was trying to help my mom since she wanted to steam clean my entire house so I figured it was the lease I could do. It didn't seem to work all that great because I still felt like poo poo.

The following morning I felt the same and haven't really been able to eat so Ensure is my best choice of food source at the moment....yummers! I was warned that the side effects could progressively get worse down the line so I am cool with it since this is the last of this type of therapy. I pray, forever :)

Tomorrow, I go in for ultrasounds to figure the problem with my arm and also have physical therapy. The arm is doing better but still has a few leaps and hurdles; I'll get it in shape.