Starla's Breast Cancer Journey

Back from Hiatus

2010-01-15T18:04:00.000-08:00

I know it has been awhile since my last post but I have just been busy with work and getting my life back on track after the holidays. I didn't have much to report but my dad told me that folks keep checking and have been asking how I've been. He said it's like a television show and people are tuning in to see the next episode. Pretty cool to know people are still interested.

All is good and my hair is finally starting to grow. It is still too short to look like much but it's coming along. I've got my curly hair back which will be super cute once I have more to actually work with. I still cover it a lot with baseball caps but every now and than I get bold and go topless. I do have the audacity to put gel in it every morning LOL! I may actually dig having a short pixie hair style. This coming from someone whose comfort zone was a ponytail.

It has been 6 months since my last chemotherapy and the only complaint is HOT FLASHES. I get them bad which creeped up as a result of chemotherapy. I think they've even gotten worse since I've been on tamoxifen. I was told they could prescribe something for me to decrease the frequency (I probably break out in a sweat about 10 or more times daily). I drive all day with the AC on most of the time and sleep with the fan on high as close as I can get it. I decided to just roll with it since I didn't want to have to take more medication. I can barely remember to take my tamoxifen which is mandatory daily for the next five years.

I am back to my workout schedule and losing a lot of the weight that I gained during chemotherapy.

Thank You to Netherfieldmom who suggested I read Anti-Cancer by Dr Servan Schreiber and for sharing your experiences.

LIFE IS GOOD

Tamoxifen

2009-11-17T18:19:00.000-08:00

I had my first follow up with my Hemotology Oncologist and I dropped almost 10 lbs as a result of some of the poison that has slowly left my system. I still have to lose another 8-10lbs to get into my favorite jeans but with a little more work I'm gonna "make it happen."

I started my appointment with a blood draw that was difficult since they can no longer use my left arm (this of course, was the best arm). The tech had trouble so I told her no worries and made the executive decision that she didn't have to do it. Poor thing couldn't find a vein in my right arm and I was getting irritated after several pokes that turned fruitless....where's that PORT when you need it. Well, I went back to the lobby and told them they couldn't do the blood draw and the lady at the front desk looked at me like I was crazy and said, "what do you mean they couldn't do it?" She told me I didn't have a choice and told me to go back to the lab for the "big guns" who can draw blood from a turnip. Well, mission accomplished!

I met with my Hemotology Oncologist who I just adore....he's a total cutie patooti! We went over my side effects which I am still having - hot flashes like a mad dog due to the chemo (they are the worst), my fingernails are still falling off one by one. Basically, the new nail pushes up the old nail and I just pull it off when it's hanging by a thread (don't worry, it doesn't hurt at all). The old and the new nail are still discolored a dark brown with ridge lines so it's obvious I still have some of the drugs from chemo in my system. At least I get new nails out of the deal!

I was prescribed Tamoxifen which I will take daily for the next 5 years. This medication is supposed to slow the growth of cancer cells. During the first couple of weeks, Tamoxifen can increase symptoms of cancer, including bone or tumor pain. Some of the side effects include blood clots, hot flashes, fluid retention/bloating, tiredness or fatigue. Long Term therapy may increase risk of getting endometrial cancer which would be a major bummer ; Isn't that double jeopardy? I like to believe they wouldn't have me take this medication if the benefits didn't outway the downfalls.

I will still go to the hospital for follow up/tests (whatever necessary) every 3 months instead of 6 months for the time being. These follow ups will continue for the next 5 years.

My relationship with treatment is OVER! We have officially broken up

2009-11-17T17:20:00.000-08:00

I completed my Radiation Therapy on 10/28/2009; less treatments then initially expected...I had a total of 28. This by far was the worse for me! They baked me like a chicken. I was placed on Vicodin (Hydrocodone) during part of it due to the excruciating pain of my burns. My skin took a beating and now I think I can relate a bit with burn victims on a smaller scale of course.

I could not even get into position on some of my treatments which they subsequently ended up decreasing the dosage with permission from my Radiation Oncologist Doc because it was pretty extreme. It hurt to wear clothing and I couldn't lift my left arm for quite some time and had to stop physical therapy for the duration. I would jump if they even thought about touching me. I believe I missed a full week of work after my Sergeant firmly advised.

It was pretty gross when it began to peel because it was my left side of my chest, neck, back and armpit which was the worse. It is 10 times + worse than a sun burn and due to the pigment of my skin it was a surprise to everyone on how bad it was for me.

Well, that is all behind me and now I'm a nice shade of maroon in the radiated areas and the skin is extremely tight which I need to try to soften up with exercise and physical therapy.

I'm not sure if I'm out of the woods but it is a good feeling not having to go to the hospital every single day.

My hair is beginning to slowly grow back but not enough for me to feel comfortable without a baseball cap. It is growing in completely straight; I don't have my wavy, curly hair but it's cool to have something different. It is soft as baby hair and feels pretty cool. I took a photo with my dogs Hunter and my new addition Pogo the Maltese; My sister and I share Pogo since the original owner had to give him up. I know, I know, I look a bit G.I. Jane-ish.

Next on the agenda....follow ups, bloodwork and daily medication for the next 5 years.

Chemo Nails

2009-10-08T11:15:00.000-07:00

I am still exhibiting effects from the chemo...kinda crazy this stuff is still in my system. I expected after August 14 (last chemo) that things would start to be normal. I found a photo of chemo nails just to show how gross it looks (my nails were too yucky to show). My fingernails and toenails turned VERY dark, have ridges and lines but my nails did not become brittle. I mask them with nail polish but the color still bleeds through...I noticed a few weeks ago that I started to lose the portion of skin that keeps your nails attached to the nail bed. My right thumb nail fell off a couple days ago with I'm sure more to come. It didn't hurt but it looks pretty weird. Maybe my nails will grow back prettier!

I also have started to lose more of my eyebrows as days progress. I may have to get some tattooed because it gets old trying to draw them in....I don't want to make the mistake of drawing on the surprise look so it's best if a professional does it. I hear it takes a while for them to grow back.

The good news is the port removal pain has decreased immensely and I can tolerate some of the discomfort for the most part.

Bye Bye Power Port (PORT A CATH)

2009-10-03T00:52:00.000-07:00

I had my Power Port taken out today after work by my surgeon. The procedure took longer than I expected since my Power Port (Port a Cath) loved me so much it didn't want to let go (they are installed beneath the skin and the catheter connects the port to the vein). I made sure my doctor numbed me with as much lidocaine as possible. This of course, was not as easy as I thought... OMG! I was so nervous that I was shaking. I despise needles. After they reopened the area in my chest (near my collar bone), I felt SERIOUS pain and they had to stop to make sure more lidocaine was injected. It was probably the worse experience I've had so far in relationship to PAIN. Did I say painful...I mean I would have rather had my double mastectomy three times over, my bottom lip pulled over my head and my jaw broken. My mom is a tough cookie but it was hard for her to witness this after hearing me behave like a big baby. I'm awake during this which was unsettling to me; I wanted to zone out with my IPOD but the area had to be sterile so I was told it was best if I didn't. No heavy lifting amongst other things for two days per doctors orders. Well, this won't be a problem since I can barely pull a shirt over my head.

After they stitched me up and placed steri stripes, I went to my radiation appointment which was followed up by my weekly Doctor review. As I drove home, the numbness from the lidocaine began to dissipate and I felt queasy.

I was relieved to finally get home to take Tylenol or my other prescribed medication but this did absolutely nothing to subside the pain. I couldn't move my right side and I couldn't sleep at all due to the excruciating pain. There is NO WAY I will be able to wear a uniform to work tomorrow so this will be interesting.

The photo gives an idea of the Port a cath but I had a Power Port which is purple and triangle shape.

The good thing is this chapter is over and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The pain will eventually go away and one day it will be a distant memory.

Beam Me Up Scottie!

2009-09-23T09:44:00.000-07:00

I have just completed my second day of external radiation. It's rather crazy going every single day to get this treatment downtown Seattle but I know it's necessary and I guess getting my LIFE/HEALTH straight trumps all of that.

To kick off this process, I had to start with treatment planning and simulation. The simulation (target areas marked with precision) makes it so that the therapy is more precise, effective and causes less damage to my healthy tissues. The goal is to destroy and/or injure my cancer cells that may remain after chemotherapy. The radiations job is to focus on the cancer cells, damaging there genetic material so that it's impossible for them to continue to grow, conquer and divide. This therapy also damages healthy cells in addition to destroying as many cancer cells as possible; most normal cells will be able to bounce back/recover and function properly.

I took a picture of the radiation room...I lay on the table with my arms nested in a cradle and my hands are clasped above my head. My legs are tied together and cannot be crossed or it "jacks" the machine or something. I cannot move at all during this procedure but thank goodness they allow me to breath. The technicians do precise measurements and drawings on my cancer stricken areas in order to pinpoint where the beam will focus; this is done daily and tailored to each patients individual needs. I do get to listen to music which is always bonus to me.

The whole thing takes less than 30 minutes and it doesn't hurt; I do keep my eyes closed so I can get into my zone. All I hear are the beeps that signal when I'm being radiated.

I'm the only person in the room and the technicians are in a separate area watching me on a monitor and can interact with me by voice in case I need anything. I try not to talk because I stress that I'll move and the beam will jack me in my heart. I know, I'm all about DRAMA!

My skin is very tight after the procedure and the skin is tender. It darkens the skin and feels like a sunburn. I apply a special lotion to the areas affected several times a day but I cannot have any perfume, deodorant (I now only wear those without aluminum like Toms but it doesn't work like Mitchum that's for sure), lotions, etc on prior to radiation. I always apologize to the crew working on me in case I'm "Stinky" because they are all up in my arm pits and moving my body around like I'm a contortionist. They are an awesome crew and take really good care of me.

I'm Back....Did you miss me?

2009-09-11T12:34:00.000-07:00

I haven't been posting much these days due to long work weeks; by the time I get home, I'm spent and the last thing on my mind is the computer :)

I'm still trying to kick "Chemo Brain"...I could probably write a short book on my short term memory lapses. My doc will do a scan if this persists but it is a common side effect which improves over time after therapy. My mom loves telling folks my crazy stories, like when I came home and put on the water hose and forgot it on all night; lost my car keys in the refrigerator which was inside my lunchbox; leaving my housekeys in my door with the door open (didn't know until I returned home). I have enough memory problems with aging!

As you all know, Chemotherapy is complete and I have had a 4 week hiatus which has been great. I'm still bald-o-licious and the scarfs are getting a bit old and tired but I'm patiently waiting for new hair growth. My Aunt Lora reminded me that I didn't have hair from the time I was a baby until I was probably 5YOA. I looked like a boy...Well, a cute boy with earrings is how I recall.

My left arm is slowly improving through physical therapy but is not yet 100%. I have received the OK to return back to full duty per my Oncologist and I couldn't be happier. I again cannot express how lucky I am to have such a great employer that has allowed me the opportunity to still work....I'm indeed blessed and impressed.

I get my power port taken out on Friday the 18th which is just prior to starting Radiation Therapy. I have had my planning sesssion for the therapy which consisted of getting permanent tattoos on the areas that will be concentrated on during therapy (I would have rather had blood drawn) and CT scan. My Radiation starts September 21 and has been extended to just short of 7 weeks which will be everyday for approximately 20 minutes, 5 days a week.

I'm on the downhill slope of therapy...I can't believe it's been 8 months since my diagnosis. It has actually gone by fast and I am ready to start a new beginning in my life.

Storms not over Yet

2009-08-17T09:10:00.000-07:00

I had my first bought of nausea/vomiting on Saturday night after Chemo with minor shortness of breath. I became a bit dizzy while vacuuming and I was in the dumps all Sunday sleeping and taking anti-nausea medication. I was trying to help my mom since she wanted to steam clean my entire house so I figured it was the lease I could do. It didn't seem to work all that great because I still felt like poo poo.

The following morning I felt the same and haven't really been able to eat so Ensure is my best choice of food source at the moment....yummers! I was warned that the side effects could progressively get worse down the line so I am cool with it since this is the last of this type of therapy. I pray, forever :)

Tomorrow, I go in for ultrasounds to figure the problem with my arm and also have physical therapy. The arm is doing better but still has a few leaps and hurdles; I'll get it in shape.

Chemo #6 (No More Cocktails)

2009-08-14T21:44:00.000-07:00

Woo Hoo! I conpleted my final chemo today and I am the happiest person on the planet. I was accompanied by my stepmother Doris. My mom and one of my sisters dropped by this morning to be apart of this special day. I forgot my Blackberry at home and almost thought I wouldn't be able to do a video message but Doris came through for me with her phone which happened to have a video camera with a 20 second clip option. Forgive me for the grainy video below but it's the best I could do.

Well, talk about a state of confusion regarding the whole Lymphedema issue. My oncologist checked out my left arm and wants to get an ultrasound of my arm. Apparently, my lack of arm extension is not a common problem and could be a result of something else but it's unclear at this time. It was pretty funny because I fussed about spending almost $300 for the compression sleeve and the glove and my stepmother said we could probably just sell it on Craigs List as slightly used. We fell out laughing! I'm sure folks have sold crazier things but I wouldn't dare :) I'll keep wearing it until I am told other wise.

I was informed that when a Sentinel Lymph Node biopsy is done (which is the procedure I had completed), there is less than a 5% chance of getting Lymphedema per studies. Although flummoxed, I am still continuing to educate myself on this topic to get a better understanding. At this point, it is a bit ambiguous on whether or not I have onset of Lymphedema , blood clot, etc., I'll roll with the punches and hope for the best.

Another tid bit of useful information is the local news informed weight training through test studies in Breast Cancer patients having Lymphedema showed to be beneficial. My oncologist also brought this up so I was excited to receive this information.

Once my cocktail drip was complete, I received a Certification of Completion for my chemo, cheers from my proud nurse's that have shared in my journey and music by Jamiroquai "You Give Me Something" from my nurse Marion's docked/speaker IPOD as I did the chemo strut down the hall. Oh Yeah! I hit the road jack and I don't expect to come back no more, no more, no more.

Physical Therapy

2009-08-11T20:25:00.000-07:00

I just completed my third physical therapy session to try to rehab my left arm that won't straighten out. I have onset Lymphedema and wear a compression sleeve and a compression glove to decrease swelling in my arm. This was my worse nightmare but I'm adjusting to it. The sleeve and glove are super tight and have to be washed every night and worn everyday and basically feels like someone is squeezing my arm and hand til they are blue.

Physical Therapy is challenging and no joke; I am really trying to work with my arm to make it work properly. My personal goal is to be 100% in a week. The problem is my arm has healed with my elbow bent and I have signs of cording (fibrous scar tissue developing in the arm after lymph nodes have been removed) and the tissue is dense/hard. My chest is still just as dense and is hard as a rock. I have to improve this all before I start radiaion because the radiation treatment is only going to cause more tissue damage as well as skin burn/discoloration and exhaustion from what I have been told.

I had to give up my P90X and hot Yoga since they are no longer in my best interest per the professionals. Hot Yoga and weight training may exascerbate the swelling in my arm. The good thing is I can still do abs, run, cycle. Swimming is one of my rehab assignments and I know I am going to enjoy it.

I really want to work my regular duties with no limitations no later than August 24th (my goal plan) which is just around the corner.

I am still in overwhelmed by how much continued support I have been getting. It means everything to me and I know it has helped me through this journey.

Thank You and see you on my last chemo Friday.

Oh no she didn't....Yes, she did break out the wig!

2009-07-30T13:37:00.000-07:00

I sported my cheesy wig for my sisters wedding at the Echo Lake Golf Course/Country Club. I'm sure I won't wear it again. It was so hot and uncomfortable and I felt like flipping it off but I hung in there for family photos and toast to the bride and groom.

Hopefully, the video footage isn't too grainy; remember to press the arrow to roll that beautiful bean footage.

This was the day after chemo and I felt really good. The next day, I started to have increased side effects: extremely painful fingers/tips and toes which made it almost impossible to pick up things, text and do daily household chores. It felt like my nails were being yanked off with no reprieve. I couldn't wear anything but open toe slippers or flip flops due to the sensitivity and I was experiencing joint pain that I had not had prior. My left leg went numb again which was another added bonus and I had the joy of extreme mouth and tooth pain; I thought my teeth were going to fall out (I'm not exagerating).

The day following the wedding, I went to Hot Yoga with one of my sisters which I thought would be great cleansing and help straighten out my left arm. Whoa! Hot Yoga is no joke. I hung in there but became dizzy several times and had to lie down a lot during the standing exercises. I felt at peace after the 90 minute session and will no doubt do it again.

On Tuesday, I had a mandatory physical therapy session for my left arm and was informed that I have onset Lymphedema. My world was crushed! My Therapist noticed obvious signs and told me from here on everything that I will not be able to do as a life altering change: no heavy weight training, hot yoga, water skiing and snow skiing for the time being. I didn't even ask about Golf and rock climbing! I have to wear gloves for minut things such as dish washing, gardening and protect the left arm from infections (basically baby it). I can pretty much say goodbye to P90X but I can do leg exercises, spinning, running Whoo Hoo! I have to wear the "sleeve" everyday to help compress/drain fluid and continue physical therapy. I'm sure I've left some things out but this is the jist and I am pretty devastated but this to shall pass and I will get over myself.

I still have the support of all of my family and friends and I need it more than ever...I pretty positive by nature but I can see how some folks lose hope. It won't be me but I'm just saying, I understand.

I still plan on being back to work in my regular position by August 20-22; I'll have that in writing!

Chemo #5 (Friday) "CHEMO BRAIN"

2009-07-29T09:12:00.000-07:00

I have one more chemo treatment to go....yippee! I forgot to video tape the session which isn't a major surprise since I have had a lot of "chemo brain" issues. I forget just about everything after chemo which is pretty much the norm with me. I'm typically a "flighty" person by nature but after chemo my mind is off the charts goofy. We could probably write a book on some of the crazy things I've said and done.

An example: While in chemo session, I had been drinking coffee and my mom stated that she forgot to empty my coffee cup. I told her no worries because I remembered emptying the cup and throwing it away while talking to my sister who was in the room. I then asked, I think I did, and proceeded to ask if my sister was actually in the room or if I was just dreaming. Yeah! I know, a little coo coo for coco puffs.

Another example: On the ride home from chemo, I fell asleep in the car as my mother drove. I suddenly started laughing in my sleep. I knew I was laughing but I couldn't stop. I proceeded to tell my mom the television was too loud and I was trying to use the remote control to lower the volume. We of course, fell out laughing because I'm a goofball!

Anytime I have these episodes....my family just yells out "Chemo Brain" and we all laugh

WELCOME TO MY WORLD!

I am starting to have increased side effects as I get into my latter stages of chemo. My left leg/arm went numb after my last chemo and I have yet to straighten out my left arm; hopefully, in due time.

Eating hasn't been a problem...I gained a lot of weight which the Doc said is normal on the meds; I'm a wopping 130lbs and my mom who never holds anything back said I was fat YIKES! I like to say I'm a bit bloated.

I have my baby sisters wedding to attend Saturday and I plan on doing it up with a wig. Yep! You heard it, a wig! I have to take family pictures so I figured I should wear it at least for this special day.

Chemo #4

2009-07-05T20:12:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm pretty excited to be done with Chemo #4...only 2 left and then daily radiation for 5 weeks to follow but it's all gravy from here; At least that's how my mind is rollin'. I've always said...it could be worse and others would pay to be in my shoes.

I did great on Chemo Friday (July 3) and feel great as usual. I have been able to work out almost to full capacity. My left arm (the bad side) has some issues (hasn't completely healed and doesn't straighten out) so I can't do complete pull ups but my right arm is fine. The good thing is I am able to work out and my weight is up and my appetite is great as Tony the Tiger would say.

My Doc said that he sees no problem in me going back to my regular patrol duties during my radiation treatment; it was like Christmas when he told me. Hopefully, my hair will start growing quicker after my last Chemo treatment since the radiation should not effect my hair due to the type of process. I can't see myself working in my duty gear with a doo-rag on my head (Wasssup!) My plan is to get radiated everyday after work Monday - Friday and I am praying that I do just as well without fatigue. Some of the haters out their keep telling me that radiation will be worse but I choose to look on the brighter side and believe if I can kick Chemo then I can do the same through radiation. I was told by my Chemo nurse that I am not the norm and my counts are pretty darn great. My Oncologist is so cool and he told me that he was fortunate to have me as a patient and that I brought him Good Fortune! That was huge in my book which made me light up with the biggest Kool Aid smile. I plan on boosting my counts up even more for my next treatment with exercise and proper eating and lots of H2O (Oh Yeah!)

Remember to press play to view the video.

We are Family...I've got all my sisters with me

2009-06-20T20:40:00.000-07:00

So far so good! Had a couple of lulls after chemo which made me pretty low on energy but no one really noticed but me; I also had another allergic reaction to the chemo which resulted in a pin rash on my forearms and chest. I had been fighting a cold for a week + and couldn't shake it...lack of an immune system doesn't help matters. As the week progressed, I felt better and was able to go on an hour long walk with a wonderful group of women I recently met.

I had an even better weekend with my family and my younger sisters Devinne and D'Nika. My youngest sister, Devinne (in the middle) is getting married next month and had her bridal shower this weekend. I wouldn't have missed it for the world no matter how crappy I felt.

This whole Cancer thing has been pretty tough on my sisters and they are struggling with it in different ways. Once I beat this, I will have to make it up to them with an ice cream cone or something.

Tomorrow, it's back to Spinning, hardcore ab workout and P90X if I have the strength to complete it!

Chemo #3

2009-06-12T21:18:00.000-07:00

Today was my halfway mark through Chemotherapy. It was a good day since it was Filipino Day at the hospital cafeteria. I couldn't wait to get my spotlight lunch of Chicken Pancit. That is so yummy.

My friend Jessica and Wendy brought me a beautiful pink ribbon inspirational blanket made by Jessica's mother in law Alice so that I could keep warm during Chemo treatments. Thank You Alice, I love it and will treasure it forever.

After Chemo, I had a Dermatologist appointment since the treatments dry out the skin and appears aged and ashy. My skin is so dry my sister asked me if I had been kicking flour. My family just tells it like it is!

I have included a video so in order to roll that beautiful bean footage, press the arrow to play.

Racing for the Cure 06/07/2009 @ Qwest Field

2009-06-11T21:21:00.000-07:00

My Hunter and Neely's buddy "cousin" Hank didn't participate in the Race for the Cure but they were our Mascots and Supporters in spirit.I was so fortunate to be able to participate since it was in between Chemo treatments. I did exceptionally well after Chemo #2 but had an allergic reaction of some sort and broke out all over in hives and rash. It was noticeable and pretty gross and hella itchy. My Oncologist suggested benadryl or Claritin but I decided to use Tea Tree Oil ,Vitamin E and Aloe Vera plant which worked well in several days. After this, I got a cold which brought my energy level down and took its toll on my body but I still went to work every day. It wasn't like having a cold without Cancer...the lack of energy is UNREAL but again it's peanuts when you consider the battle others are facing.

The Race for the Cure (Susan G. Komen) was probably the best part of this whole journey. When my friend Nelly AKA: Neely approached me about wanting to put a team together to support me and others battling "BC". I had no idea that we would have so many family and friends who wanted to be apart of it in some way. Nelly took it upon herself to order bracelets for the name we chose "Starla's Warriors". I decided on lime green since everyone would be wearing pink.

After choosing this color I later observed on the Race for the Cure website that "Pink loves Green" so it was very fitting and meant to be. I believe the bracelets were initially purchased for team participants and team donors but these bracelets ended up being a hot commodity and went like hot cakes...who would've thought. Next thing I know people were willing to pay for the bracelets to help the team reach it's goal. The initial goal of $2000.00 was raised in several weeks; I last observed the total to be $5072.00 WOW! I had been giving them out because any support is good support in my book but then I was like, Heck, whatever works. I was OVERWHELMED by how many people were requesting the bracelets; it still chokes me up thinking about it; I feel so BLESSED!

There were several options to join the team; Members didn't actually have to show up on race day...you could sign up and choose to "sleep in", run 5K, walk 5K, etc., which was pretty cool. It was so UPLIFTING and EMPOWERING to see all of the breast cancer survivors, especially those that were so confident to show their bald heads. I'm confident and proud but I haven't reached that stage to go out in public since my head reminds me of a jelly bean.

I love and truly adore all of you that have stood by me...it gives me STRENGTH TO FIGHT LIKE HELL cause that's how we warriors roll.

Thank You D. Michels for donating the pink baseball caps (I love it) and for being my Hero...you go girl!

Chemo #2

2009-05-22T21:47:00.001-07:00

Today was my second cycle of Chemo and I did great! My counts were up which is a very good thing. I hadn't had a fast food burger in a loooong time and suddenly during my chemo drip I called my mom to bring back a PLAIN quarter pounder with cheese with one ketchup packet on the side and french fries. I had already had a bowl of melon and canteloupe and yummy Ensure. My mom left for a break during Chemo to go shopping downtown so when she came back it was a little cold but I ate it. I fussed a bit because it wasn't plain and had pickles, ketchup, onions and mustard and it took me awhile to drop the subject. She swears that I didn't tell her plain but I don't eat it any other way and I know what I said. She of course, gave me a piece of her mind and cussed at me and put me in my place as a mother should and told me "I'm doing you a F@*?#*?@! Favor! (We cracked up laughing). My nurse had to give me something to put me in sleepy mode which I'm sure made my mom happy. I guess its to calm me down since I tend to get up and move around a lot (I'm always doing something).

I felt tired but good after treatment but I came home and slept for a few hours. I got up feeling like I had super energy (Cloud 9). I will see as the weekend progresses if any of the side effects kick in to gear but I pray I stay in the mode I'm in now.

Press the arrow to play the video and please except my apologies for my moms unsteady hands..she's still learning Video 101

In a World of Scarfs

2009-05-22T19:49:00.000-07:00

I woke up Tuesday morning for work and started to lose a large quantity of hair. It was enough that I had to wear a scarf to work because my hair was a hot mess! (My hair dresser showed me a styling way to wear it so it didn't look too cheesy). It was totally dead and had to go so I called one of my younger sisters that has been having a really, really tough time during this curve ball that I have thrown in her life.

I asked her if she had hair clippers and told her that she was going to have to be the one to cut it short . I figured it would be easier and less traumatic for me when it all came out. She wasn't exactly sure about this task but I gave her no out. My reasoning was it would be therapeutic for her...I told her I will be enough strength for the both of us and it needed to be done by her and not my hair stylist.; I was totally cool and had already prepared myself. She did well and cut it about an inch...YIKES! What a sobering experience! In the end I was happy to get rid of the old and ready to have a fresh start with a new beginning. I did ask her to clean it up and edge it up a bit and she commented she wasn't a flippin' barber. (that's the sister I know and love). It was a pretty cool experience.

The following day, a fellow friend and co-worker offered to shave the rest of my hair when I was ready. I was a bit apprehensive at first but I quickly gave in because I had continued to lose more hair and now had bald patches in the back of my head. I went to "Mike's Barbershop" and he hooked me up. Although I did video tape the experience, I decided to keep it for myself. even though I had an audience. I looked like "Homie the Clown" during the process and now know I have a peanut head. I kept a tiny bit of hair tapered on the sides above my ears so it showed out of my scarf. I know it's going to go soon but I was trying to hold on to a little sumthin' sumthin'.

My mom tells it like it is and saw my bald head and said, Oh, you like "Harpo". I of course, laughed so hard I almost passed out. She's a nut! It was a similar experience with the wig when I first wore it to see what she thought. I go, "does it look fake?" (I should know not to ask her a question because she will give a straight answer). My mom's response, "Yeah (with a smile), it's a lot of hair." I definitely get my sense of humor from her which has been a useful trait to have during this deal.

Bad Hair Day!

2009-05-16T19:05:00.000-07:00

Well, I didn't expect my hair to fall out this soon but it started today. It occurred while combing my hair this morning and it came out in clumps...pretty sobbering. In a short while, it will be time for me to break out the scarfs and start rockin' em with style. I'm not gonna do the cheesy wig I bought even though my stylist did a good job making it similiar to my own hair. It still looks FAKE!

If my hair and my boobies are all I lose in this war, than it's all gravy in my book.

I watched the Farrah Fawcett Story last evening and could relate to some of her experiences. She still has hope even after the return of her cancer which is terminal; pretty doggone amazing! It's inspiring people like this that continue to make me positive and thankful. My situation is not a big deal when you put it all in perspective.

I will close with a quote from Sarah Azevedo "I do believe that when we face challenges in life that are far beyond our own power, it's an opportunity to build on our own faith, inner strength, and courage. I've learned that how we face challenges plays a big role in the outcome of them."

Week In Rewind

2009-05-14T23:31:00.000-07:00

I completed my first week without a problem. I have incredible energy and I didn't even have one Red Bull...Kind of crazy. I was told I had to cut out Red Bull so I couldn't tell you the last time I had one. I feel so Starla-gized; I'm thinking that my immune system repaired itself pretty doggone quick and I may have even multipled my white blood cell count. I don't know if that is even possible but that is how great I feel.

Well, I took a quick video so don't forget to press the play arrow.

Back to Work

2009-05-11T22:03:00.000-07:00

I set a goal to return to work on May 11 and I was able to stick to it. I almost thought it wasn't going to happen since this past Thursday, I was struggling with lack of energy...placing dishes and/or removing drom the dishwasher was an extremely tough chore. I began feeling GREAT by Thursday afternooon.

I was so excited to return to work today. I did my full shift without a problem and I plan on continuing it throughout my treatment...I'm hopeful that my low energy level doesn't exceed a week and my side effects stay at a minimum after each chemo treatment. Although I am on transitional duty, there is plenty of work to keep me occupied.

I am focused on getting better and boosting up my immune system through healthy food choices, plenty of water and exercise which has not been hard.

My doctor indicated I am doing better than expected and I intend to keep on keeping on in that direction.

I'll follow up at the end of the week to inform whether I was able to complete a full work week.

Struggling Geriatrics

2009-05-04T19:11:00.000-07:00

It's been several days since my first chemo treatment and I am definitely feeling a few set backs. I have very little energy which stinks because I was going to start working out today. I can't even walk up and down my staircase without becoming winded. This is SO not ME!

Honey, I call myself taking Hunter out for a walk... I felt guilty he had been stuck in the house too long. I routed out an hour walk and I barely made it...I felt like I was suffering from geriatrics (no disrespect to the elderly). I'm hoping I can jog by the end of the week because this is getting rather old; I'm climbing the walls. If I can't do that maybe I'll paint my kitchen...I need to be productive.

I have little to no appetite and the smell of cooked food makes me ill. I have been drinking water and light juice and shakes with fruit but not much else. This isn't me either....I'm a girl who typically plans her day around food (GOOD FOOD); even at work when it's possible :) I have an extreme amount of pain from the port installation which is bulging out like a third eye; In my opinion, it hurts three times worse then my double mastectomy surgery. In the morning, I awake with a headache and have to take medication just to move my right shoulder due to the pain. I was told the pain is not uncommon since the needle goes deeper and tunnels through the tissue, or something like that. Well, I'm sure the pain won't last forever and I try to only take the painkillers when I absolutely need it because I don't want to become dependent on them.

I believe it could be worse so I am fortunate that I have not suffered the major side effects.

Just wanted to give a quick update...have to finish watching Barbra Streisands 2006 concert in Fort Lauderdale.

FYI - Side Note

2009-05-02T07:36:00.000-07:00

There are two other videos in the March (check archive); I didn't say press play to view the video because I thought it was obvious but a lot of my peeps keep saying they thought it was a picture. It is the C'est La Vie to the Ta Ta's and the Surgery Prep with my cheesy shower cap.

Just thought I'd let you know....thinking about you all

Not feeling too good today so it may be my counts are too low - DIE CANCER, DIE! Hee Hee

Love you ALL

Chemo cycle#1

2009-05-01T15:35:00.000-07:00

Today, was my first cycle of chemo. I slept pretty good but I had terrible nausea and vomiting prior to bed. It sucked because Sgt Baxter brought me ribs and I couldn't eat them.

My mom decided it would be a great idea to make me a smoothie shake with rice milk, fresh strawberries, raspberries and blueberries and a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream and whey protein. I was delighted and it was the best smoothie I think I've ever had. Unfortunately, it didn't stick around to long and it went bye bye rather quick. I don't want to gross you out with detail but Honey, I was a mess!

I woke up to the same nausea and the car ride to the hospital was brutal for me. Once I was in they gave me benedryl, lorazepam, ondansetron, and prochlorperazine for vomiting and nausea. Dexamethasone to decrease swelling, allergic type reactions and help treat blood, hormone and immune disorders amongst other things. My chemo cocktail is Taxotere (Docetaxel) and Cytoxan (Cyclophosphamide) and Hydrocodone for the pain, Good goob-a-lee. This is insane!

The actual therapy isn't so bad because a lot of time is used for getting a room and prepping. Once that is done the drip into my bloodstream only takes a couple of hours. It wasn't bad at all, I just have no energy; I feel like Tim Conway slow moving character on the Carol Burnett Show back in the day. I'm am just creepin along like little Miss Daisy; I am shutting down and crashing but I refuse to burn. It's a glorious Friday so I'll try to enjoy some of the outdoors if I am able.

Surgery - Port Installation

2009-05-01T01:45:00.000-07:00

Please press play to view video.

On Thursday, April 30, I had my Port installed under general anesthesia. Although I still do not have complete range of motion in my arms, I am very close. I was able to do a pull up, and one leg push ups (don't tell my Docs) but I didn't have full extenstion...I plan on starting back to my P90X workout by Monday. At least, that's my plan!

Holistically Speaking

2009-04-21T20:42:00.000-07:00

As I continue on this journey, I am making a few changes to my diet. I went to a Holistic group session at Virginia Mason which is open for Cancer Patients in different stages of treatment. The doctor focused on nutrition and spoke about pesticides (Xenobiotics) in meats, fruits and vegetables. I like this approach since it right up my alley but have to tweak my eating habits a bit and double up on my protein, and stick to whole wheat pastas, brown rice, breads, etc., My fruits and vegetables servings will increase but won't be hard since I plan on making lots of smoothies in my juicer. I was given this incredible Kale, tomato juice, carrot, beat and apple juice smoothie....yummers! I LOVE to eat so I'll make it fun! This group session was very helpful and provided me with a whole new perspective.

Once I completed my group session, I met with my Oncologist and was informed that I will have surgery on April 30 to install my "port" which is an implanted device that allows blood to be drawn and/or drugs to be given without repeated needle sticks. This will be great because I don't think my veins can take anymore sticks. It's a pretty simple surgery that takes about 30 minutes with general anesthesia.

I start my first cycle of Chemotherapy on May 1 which starts at 8am - 2pm. It will occur once every three weeks for 6 cycles so I'm completely cool with this since there are others that have it more frequent without much time to recover for their next cycle.

I was prepared for the the negative aspects: hair loss which will occur approximately 2 weeks after first treatment (so major...YIKES!), nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite, change in taste buds, mouth sores, joint pain and a whole plethora of other downfalls that aren't too pretty. I'm looking forward to it since I truly believe I may do better than expected and who knows I may be the 5% that doesn't lose my hair and doesn't suffer any major side effects. Although, I will be a bit miffed if my taste buds change to the point of no longer liking my favorites (fried chicken, Thai food, Creole, BBQ and Spam Musubi).

So far this entire experience has not been bad in my eyes (some people think I'm wearing rose colored glasses but I'm cool with that). I was prepared for the absolute worse and so far it hasn't even come close. I felt surgery aftermath was restricted since I had to regain my full range of motion with my upper body (daily exercise totally helped). I plan on going back to work through Chemotherapy which will be followed up with 5 weeks of daily radiation. I am so ready to get this party started!

Cancer Sucks!

2009-04-07T09:40:00.000-07:00

The good news is all my drain tubes have been removed. It was not a good feeling because they just pull those suckers out. I had my first set removed on Wednesday (April 1) and the second set Friday (April 3). It burns a little and it felt like a rope being pulled from my chest cavity. I was thrilled when it was all over; it reminded me of being tased...when it's over, it's over "what a relief!"

I received my final Pathology results on April 2 and was informed that the cancer had spread to my Lymph Nodes. Only two lymph nodes were removed and looked normal by visual examination. It wasn't until they were sent to the lab that they discovered one of the two had trace amounts (approximately 1/5") of cancer. They found a total of 6 invasive tumors and one non invasive to my understanding. I used one day to cry and the next day I was back in the attack.

I like to have music to take my mind off of some of the bad stuff, so the docs have been great while waiting for me to find my song of choice for the occasion (blood draws, etc.,) in my IPOD. I typically choose Creed - "Higher" and "Don't Stop Dancing" for most the part. I have a playlist I named I'm a Survivor which has a lot of uplifting songs that include Mary J. Blige "Just Fine" which is my theme music and Beyonce "Just Stand Up" which gets me ready for the fight.

Well, I've chosen not to have another surgery to remove the remaining lymph nodes. I am active and this would possibly result in further problems in the use of my left arm swelling, etc., None of the tests that I have taken detected this cancer in the lymph nodes so its's a bit concerning. I am wondering what else was missed...has it traveled to other places within my body.

There are no guarantees in life and I'm not afraid to take risks within reason so I'm hoping the chemotherapy and the radiation will take care of those suckers that decided to pack up their bags and do some traveling through the everglades of Starla; we'll just have to cut them off at the pass.

Stay tune for more...

Edward Scissorhands

2009-04-02T09:33:00.000-07:00

I may have failed to mention that I came with luggage after the surgery. I had four drain tubes inserted into my chest (two on each side). It's definitely not the sexiest thing to look at and I guess this means I won't be on the cover of Victoria Secret anytime soon .

There were two tubes inserted on each side. They come out just below my armpit with a little stitch at the exit for each. This picture gives an idea but I have the container portion in my pockets because it isn't a good feeling if I just let them hang; sometimes I wear it like a necklace, depending on my attire for the day which is either PJ's or warmup suits. I totally feel like a bag lady with issues.

Twice a day my mom drains the tubes and measures/records the liquid output. She was really nervous the first couple of times but now she's a pro.

I'm smiling because I was leaving for the hospital to get one drain from each side removed because the liquid measured below 30cc in a 24hour period. YIPPEE! It's like Christmas.

We are also hoping to get my pathology report. I'm a bit frightened to know the results because this determines my future and final course of treatment action.

Post Surgery - I'm Home

2009-03-27T16:36:00.000-07:00

Surgery went GREAT! Apparently, I was hilarious and the life of the party from what I've been told. I came out of surgery asking for gummy bears and Sherwood came through with my demands. I ate two small bags and a popsicle and unfortunately wasn't able to keep it down but I must say it was good going down. My surgeon informed there were two additional masses located during surgery; those buggers were hiding between my other two tumors...sneaky devils! The good thing is they believe they were able to get all of it and I plan on a speedy recovery.

I was told that I had a lot of supporters show up, even my Major! How cool is that?! I also heard I had the largest and the most lively group in the waiting room. Most of which were there for over 8 hours...I feel very blessed.

I took my blackberry with me so I was able to read all of my wonderful comments that everyone has left so far on my blog (Thank You!) This only makes me want to work hard to recover so I can get back to my P90X workout...

I am a little sore but it's totally tolerable and I am stretching my neck and my arms a bit. I was told I have excellent tissue. I associate the pain to a really good bench press workout. My appetite is low but I did have another popsicle (banana), Dr Pepper, juice and chicken noodle soup. I'm hoping by next week that I will be able to eat solid foods.

I've been home for about 4 hours and I have yet to lay down.

Surgery Preparation

2009-03-27T16:12:00.000-07:00

C'est la vie Ta ta's

2009-03-27T15:54:00.000-07:00

10 hours pre-surgery

2009-03-25T21:50:00.000-07:00

I couldn't sleep so I added a photo...I'm getting anxious

Stop the Madness - biopsies, scans and MRI's

2009-03-25T19:31:00.000-07:00

The entire month of February was exhausting and involved a lot of poking and prodding. You know it's bad when you know your way around Virginia Mason downtown Seattle and are excited to see what the spotlight lunch is in the Cafeteria.

I started out meeting with my team of doctors which consisted of my General Surgeon, Radiation Onchologist and Hemotology -Onchologist. I averaged 2 -3 times a week for hospital visits. My poor veins were shot and it made it tougher and tougher for an IV. I freaked when they said they would try my hands if necessary; thank heavens that hasn't happened YET!

Well, I was diagnosed with Invasive/Infiltrating Ductal Carcinoma stage II; my tumor measuring 4 cm in diameter; from my understanding it has spread outside the duct into the breast tissue with a chance it has spread to the lymph nodes and other parts of the body. My MRI located a second diagnosed as Ductal Carcinoma in situ (non invasive) on my sternum; this basically means that it is contained in the milk ducts and has not made its way into the tissue. The initial diagnosis/stage trumps it so it really didn't matter at that point to me.

The toughest thing for me to understand is how did this happen to me? I have no family history...is it environmental? Who knows!

My General Surgeon was awesome and was trying to hard sell the lumpectomy. I knew right away that I wanted both breasts GONE (Double Mastectomy). I'm all about killing two birds with one stone. I would have had to have 6 month observations and I am way too lazy for that. Plus, I wasn't that attached to them anyway. I'm just saying they are way over-rated in my book. I would have less stress and I wouldn't have to wonder if cancer would appear in the other breast.

I was told that due to the size of my tumor (over 2 cm) and being pre-menopausal, I would be going through approximately 6 months of chemotherapy with radiation to follow. I'm OK with surgery and all that stuff but I didn't want to lose my hair. I've been told I have a 95% chance of losing it so I guess I need to start saying my good-byes. Once complete, my plan is to start reconstruction. I know, I know! I said breast are over-rated but I do want something ...I don't care if it's two tootsie rolls!

I have been in great spirits 90% and I am thankful for my life. I figured it could be worse; there are plenty of people out there in a worse place then little 'ol me. This is the cards I've been dealt and I am going to play my hand to WIN! I have been so fortunate to have an extreme amount of support and love with not only my own family and friends but my Law Enforcement Family.

Well, all of this has lead up to a Lymph node injection tracer (March 25, 2009) and the Double Mastectomy surgery scheduled for March 26, 2009 - stay tuned....

That stupid LUMP!

2009-03-25T08:18:00.000-07:00

My journey began around November 2008, when I found a lump in my left breast. I should give the credit to my dog Hunter who actually used me as a ladder to sit up on his favorite "perch" on the sofa. I felt a pain in my breast when Hunter stepped on my chest but I didn't think much of it. I did do a self breast examination and I felt a lump but I figured it was nothing; I'm a goofball and told myself it was a bone. I decided to involve several of my friends and when they felt it they all said the same thing. "Starla, you should go see a doctor!" Well, I didn't! The pain I felt was not something I've felt before but I still disregarded it. I believe I am the poster child of health and pride myself on good lifestyle choices.

Since the pain didn't go away and I couldn't ignore it any longer so I made an appointment with my doctor.

January 14, 2009 at 7pm was a scheduled appointment to check out my lump. Well, my doctor confirmed it was indeed a lump but he informed that he was leaning more towards a cyst and not cancer. I was totally confused by this because at no point did I ever entertain the thought of Cancer. My doctor explained that cancer is not associated with pain. I left the doctors in positive spirits and told myself it was nothing. The next step was to get a mammogram which I was OK with since women should start at the age of 40. Well, since I am 40, I figured I was killing two birds with one stone and happy to get it done.

January 16, 2009 at 2:30pm , I had a mammogram which was followed up with an ultrasound. The mammogram wasn't as bad as I thought. I've been told mammograms are painful so I expected the worse and it turned out to be a cake walk with minimal inconveniences. During my ultrasound, I asked the doctor if she could tell if it were a cyst and she told me it was definitely not a cyst. She informed it was "solid" and that I needed to get a needle biopsy. I wasn't too nervous because again, I am a healthy woman and new the results would be benign because that is how I roll....POSITIVE!

January 22, 2009 at 3:30pm, I went to the doctors for my scheduled needle biopsy. I was super nervous about this procedure because I do not like needles. Five samples were taken and the next step was to wait for the results.

January 27, 2009 at 9:40am, I was late for my results appointment. I knew something was wrong when I informed the doctors office that I would be late due to traffic caused by an accident. I was told that all of my results had not been received and if I could come in around noon. I was leaving for vacation at 4am the following morning; so of course, this was not going to happen. I still had packing and shopping to do! I told the person I was speaking to that she could just call me with the results. She told me that they typically don't provide the results over the phone and that I needed to go into the office. I told her she had my permission to give them to me over the phone because in my mind the results were not going to be newsworthy. I immediately figured something was up when she told me to continue to the doctors office and they would see me when I arrived and give me preliminary results.

I finally made it to the doctors office and was told by the doctor that I had breast cancer. I felt like I had been punched in the gut but it still didn't register and I refused to cry. My immediately reaction was that I was going to die! I kept a brave face and my first response was, "this is HARDCORE! The doctor responded, "Yes, it is hardcore!" I had no questions to ask and I felt like a complete idiot...I remember my mom asked me to call her once I knew the results and I didn't have the heart to tell her the bad news. She sent me a text on my cell phone and I sent one back with only, "It's cancer!" She called me and I told her I couldn't talk to her or I would cry. I lost it control of myself and cried my eyes out. I could only think about my dog Hunter and who would take care of him as well as me? I knew I had to suck it up and choose to kick some cancer ass!

January 28, 2009, I went on vacation to Washington DC with my dad. You would have never knew I had just been told bad news because I remained my cheerful, positive self.